Building out a co-parenting strategy by using a 60/40 split can be a very fulfilling arrangement for both parents and children alike. This type of split means that one parent can spend up to 60% of the time with their child or children, whereas the other has the remaining 40%. It is one of the most common parenting splits seen among separated couples.
The reason a 60/40 split is often chosen is due to the fact that it strikes a strong balance between continuity and meaningful time for both parents. However, to ensure that the split works seamlessly you need to carefully plan with your former partner and double-check that you have an effective communication structure in place.
- Prioritize the Needs of Your Child
At the heart of any custody arrangement, regardless of how the time with each parent is broken out, the needs of your child should always be put first. A 60/40 split works best when it accommodates the child’s emotional, educational, and social needs above all else.
It should come as no surprise that children thrive at stability, especially at a younger age. The different types of custody arrangements each have their pros and cons, but a 60/40 split strikes an excellent balance for many younger and older children alike. For example, younger children need more rigid routines due to bedtimes and set mealtimes, even if splitting time between two homes.
Older children, on the other hand, need to have their social lives and extracurricular activities sorted, with the custody schedule reflecting their need for independence.
- Consider Proximity to Schools and Different Activities
Location will play a crucial role in making a 60/40 custody split practically as if one parent lives far away from where their child or children go to school or have regular activities, it can be difficult. Specifically, if 60% of parents live near the school, then they may want to be the ones to handle pick-ups and drop-offs, whereas 40% of parents may be better suited for weekends and evenings if they live further away.
If you and your former partner live closer together, it will make a 60/40 split all the more effective, though, and reduce potential disruptions in your child’s routine.
- Establish Clear Communication Channels
In a custody split arrangement, strong communication is everything. Miscommunications can quickly lead to misunderstandings that result in missed appointments and unnecessary tension. Co-parenting apps can be a helpful tool to overcome this roadblock, and even something as simple as Google Calendar can make coordination easier without constant back and forth with your partner.
It’s also important that you set clear boundaries. Decide upon a preferred communication method, whether that’s email, text, calls, or something else, and stick to it. Always try to keep the conversation focused on your child rather than on you and your partner.
This will help to avoid unnecessary conflict and, in the event disagreements do arise, try to remain respectful and have a solution-focused approach to all issues.
- Have Contingency Plans and Flexibility
Even the best custody arrangements can have hiccups along the way which is why having both flexibility and contingency plans in place is crucial. Life is unpredictable but both of these can help you to adapt when unforeseen circumstances arise.
If one parent has an emergency or illness, for instance, the other parent may need to step in even if their percentage of time is met. This is why it’s important to set these clauses when drafting your agreement. Similarly, holidays and specific occasions typically feature adjustments, such as splitting the day, so try to discuss these cases in advance to avoid disagreements.
- Address Your Financial Responsibilities
Naturally, there are financial implications to a 60/40 split that must be considered, as they can vary. Child support calculations may differ depending on the time split or based on the financial situation of each parent. Beyond this, though, each parent should agree on how to handle certain shared expenses like medical bills, supplies for school, and any extracurricular activity fees.
Most experts will recommend drafting a written agreement about financial responsibilities, given their importance, as this can prevent misunderstandings. Especially if circumstances change, having a written agreement will help to ensure both fairness and clarity.
- Maintain Consistency Across Both Households
As mentioned previously, children thrive on stability. Having consistent rules and routines, regardless of which household they are in, will only serve to benefit them. Both you and your former partner should work together to create a unified approach to raising your kids, which encompasses things such as bedtime routines, limits on screen time, discipline strategies, and more. Each home will naturally have its own environment, but the underlying foundation should be the same.
To make this process easier, try to have regular check-ins with your former partner to align yourselves on co-parenting strategies and to address any emerging concerns you may have regarding your child or children.
- Consider Regularly Reviewing Your Co-Parenting Schedule
As alluded to, a 60/40 split will only work well so long as you stay adaptable and are willing to make adjustments. The terms of your current split may be working well today, but life changes, and a year from now, things may look different. Children grow and evolve, which means you and your former partner must, too.
Anytime adjustments are needed, approach all conversations collaboratively. After all, you and your former partner are on the same side as parents. Whether this means discussing modifying the time split, changing handoffs, or just addressing new challenges, having an open dialogue will help to ensure your arrangement stays effective.
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Evaluate the benefits of a 60/40 split
A 60/40 parenting approach can be an excellent path to consider but try to remember that it won’t be right for every family. Both parents need to work together to prioritize the needs of their child in order to adequately address logistics, maintain communication, and create an environment where their child can thrive. Challenges are inevitable, but embrace flexibility and consistency in order to navigate the situation with confidence and respect for your former partner.
