Alright, alright – who’s tired of having a Cheeto-stained loser bod during these crazy locked-in times? Yeah, yeah, I’m calling y’all out for letting yourselves go all doughy while being cooped up in the crib 24/7. Put down that twelfth bag of chalupas, bruh! You better discover the convenience of home workouts with gym equipment.
Listen up because this swole king is here to drop some straight knowledge on how to transform your homes into straight up torture chambers…with gym equipment, that is. Don’t worry though – after following these sick home workout tips, you’ll be too busy admiring your new shredded moneymaker to be mad at me, fam.
First Off, Invest in Some Decent Gear
I know what you scrubs are thinking – gym equipment is mad expensive and my unemployed bloke bod ain’t about that life. Well, let me hit you with some real talk – having a stacked home setup stocked with budget gear is honestly a better call than paying monthly for a mid-tier public gym anyway!
Get creative finding deals on reliable basics like:
– An adjustable bench with preacher curl, leg extension attachments
– A solid power rack / squat rack with pull-up bar
– Loadable dumbbells in multiple weights
– Rubber weight plates
– Resistance bands
– Maybe even a basic cardio machine if you got the bread
Check the usual spots like Kmart, Rebel Sport and online retailers, but also be on the lookout for second-hand steals from Gumtree or garage sales. Just make sure to inspect thoroughly for any dodgy gear.
Once you’ve assembled your ultimate compact home gym arsenal, you can start going full beast mode sculpting that Cthulhu physique! Speaking of which…
Craft Your Perfect Home Workout Routine
Here’s a pro tip – structure your weekly training schedule to crush both strength and conditioning. For instance:
– Monday/Thursday – Upper Body Destroyers like bench, overhead press, pull-ups, rows, etc.
– Tuesday/Friday -Leg Day Scorchers with squats, deadlifts, lunges, calf raises and the like.
– Wednesday – Active Recovery with steady-state cardio, core work and stretching.
– Weekends – Full rest and recharge mode for the next onslaught! Maybe light cardio if feeling froggy.
Make sure to work in a smart push/pull split, rotation of rep ranges, and adequate rest periods between muscle groups too. Having a home setup means you have zero excuses to not go balls-to-the-wall on these sessions.
Don’t Forget Your Heart Health Too!
Speaking of heart health, let’s be real – relying solely on heavy weight training is a solid way to cultivate a thick outer chest while still rocking a doughy interior. That’s not gonna get you any hygiene poster model contracts!
Make sure to incorporate some form of dedicated cardio training to shed fat, promote conditioning, and avoid being an outta-shape slob gasping for air. Some options to consider:
– HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training) bodyweight circuits like Insanity or P90X if you’re cost-cutting
– Steady-state low-impact options like cycling, elliptical or stair-climber machines if you splurged on cardio gear
– Running around your neighbourhood if you dare venture outdoors – just avoid getting robbed, assaulted or glared at like a weirdo
You could even mix it up with activities like jump rope intervals, battle ropes or sled pushes for max calorie burn. Just please, for the love of gains, don’t be that person who binge-eats burritos and justifies it with a sad little 15-minute jog. Pathetic.
The Most Important Component? Consistency!
At the end of the day, you can follow every shredded IG influencer’s home workout program to a tee. But if you slack off and treat your new home gym setup as a glorified laundry rack, all those gains are gonna peace out faster than yesterdays 3pm quarantine wine buzz.
Having that equipment conveniently accessible 24/7 with zero commutes or wait times means not a single day can be wasted! Consistency is everything when building that dream body from home. Set an alarm, crank up the heavy tunes and absolutely punish yourself with every workout like a mad lad. No flaky skipped sessions allowed!
Maybe even enforce a “home gym is a selfie-free zone” policy if seeing your own flabby pre-workout self is enough to keep you properly motivated. Whatever sparks that fire under your glutes to just keep grinding every single session.
So what are you waiting for, dawg? Your dream home workout sanctuary awaits – complete with all the grunt-inducing gym gear and killer programming to finally sculpt the type of aesthetic physique you’ve always obsessed over. Just be prepared to put in that work consistently. Trust me, it’ll be worth every agonizing rep!