Obesity. Yo-yo dieting. Deprivation of beloved foods. These are all signs of an unhealthy relationship with eating. It’s unfortunate that society has adopted this as the norm. More often than not, people are either on a diet or are binging. If they’re binging, then they have a plan in place to eat better starting tomorrow, Monday, or on New Year’s Day.
Perhaps you can relate. Maybe you wish you had a “normal” relationship with food, but you just don’t know what that looks like. Read on to uncover how you can readjust how you see food so that you love mealtime again.
Understand Why You Eat
You bring out a basket of clean laundry and set it on the couch beside you. But instead of folding the clothes, you start munching on chips. Or perhaps you finished the series you were watching and haven’t started anything new yet. You don’t know what to do with the time between dinner and bedtime. So, you make yourself a bowl of ice cream.
You’re updating your resume to apply for new jobs. You suspect you will be laid off soon. But you’re suddenly very hungry, so you take a break from the job hunt and make yourself a sandwich.
There are many reasons that you eat, and oftentimes, it’s not because you’re hungry — even if you think you are. You could eat to procrastinate from a task or chore that needs done. You might find yourself snacking out of boredom. Sometimes emotions, like stress, frustration, loneliness, and anxiety, make you think you’re hungry. Even positive emotions, such as excitement, can cause you to eat.
Before you eat, particularly if it’s not mealtime, take a moment and consider. Are you really hungry? Or is there another reason you’re turning to food? Make allowances for yourself that don’t include food.
Go ahead and watch an episode of Friends before folding the laundry. Find a new series to watch or take up a new hobby. Take a break from your job search. If depression, anxiety, stress, or other negative emotions are the culprit, consider mental health rehab or therapy to take control of your mental health. If it turns out you truly are hungry, then eat.
Dump the Guilt
You have a slice of cake at your daughter’s birthday party. It was just a sliver, but still you feel guilty. The chocolate bunny your girlfriend put in your basket stares at you. You haven’t even had any, but you feel guilty just knowing it’s there. You feel guilt any time you eat sweets, indulge in salty snacks, or eat too much.
Feeling guilty about food is unhealthy. Sure, food is there for energy and nutrition, but it is so much more. That birthday cake? It’s about celebrating with your daughter on turning another year older. The chocolate bunny? It’s a tradition that you’ve had since you were just a little kid. It’s more than sugar and calories. It’s memories through the years.
Eating can also be a connection with family and friends. You catch up with your best friend over lunch. You gather around the dining room table for dinner with your family, where everyone seems to talk at once.
Comfort food is a real thing, and it’s good. You shouldn’t feel guilty about eating a warm bowl of soup on a chilly day. Or baking apple crisp using Grandma’s recipe. Comfort foods cause a dopamine spike, giving us warm and cozy feelings. They are often what we resort to when feeling down or stressed, because they actually do make us feel better.
There’s no need to feel deprived because you’re limiting what you eat. In the same way, you shouldn’t feel guilty because you’ve indulged. So, dump that food guilt and begin to feel good about the experiences behind the food you eat.
Quit Dieting
In this case, quitting is OK. In fact, it’s preferred. Dieting, at least how we most commonly define it, doesn’t work. Restrictive eating, skipping meals, and leaving the dinner table hungry all lead to a bad relationship with food.
There are more than a third of Americans dieting at any point in time. They are trying to lose weight, but in the vast majority of cases, they will be disappointed. Even if they are able to lose weight, they’ll gain it back in a few month’s time. Why? Because many diets are too rigid, limiting the foods they are allowed. Or perhaps the food choices just don’t taste good.
You should love the food you eat. Savor every bite. That means put down your phone, shut off the TV, and stop working to actually enjoy your meal. If you don’t love it, don’t eat it. Take your time when you eat and pay attention to the process. You should enjoy eating.
Shift your focus from losing weight to becoming healthy. Popular diets will never work because they focus solely on becoming skinny. You can’t continue that type of eating long term. You’ll grow bored. You’ll crave something that you “aren’t allowed,” according to the diet. Eventually, you’ll go off the diet and will most likely binge eat all of the goodies you couldn’t have.
However, if you eat fruits, veggies, lean meats, and whole grains, you can allow yourself a candy bar for dessert every once in a while. If you permit yourself to indulge sparingly in treats, you won’t feel deprived. Drink plenty of water to help fill yourself up and cleanse your system too!
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Enjoy Meals Again
Don’t mindlessly eat, but rather eat with a purpose. Taste each bite and enjoy it. Build a positive relationship with your food. It’s not an afterthought. Food is a part of your life, day in and day out. So, make eating a pleasurable pastime.
It may take some time to redirect your thought patterns surrounding food, but take the time to try. You’ll begin eating for your health and savoring the flavors of natural foods. And surprisingly — or maybe as you’d expect — you can lose weight and become a healthier, happier version of yourself.