Most divorces aren’t simple. Couples are trying to divvy up assets and figure out if alimony is going to be a factor. If this doesn’t complicate things enough, toss in child custody and things can get messy pretty quickly. Even if you and your spouse can agree on who gets custody, your shared child may not be on board.
So, how much of a say does your child have in their living arrangements? Understanding a child’s preference in CT custody decisions can be key to helping ensure your divorce doesn’t get bogged down in litigation.
Understanding Physical and Legal Child Custody
Before we start looking at child preferences, it helps to have a basic understanding of the two types of child custody. This doesn’t change regardless of the state you’re filing for divorce in. All states, including Connecticut, recognize legal and physical child custody.
If a parent has legal custody, they’re the ones responsible for making all of the decisions. Anything having to do with the child’s education, health, and even region is the responsibility of the parent with legal custody.
Physical custody doesn’t give one parent the right to make medical, educational, or religious decisions regarding the child. Physical custody only means the child is primarily living with that parent. The other parent may have legal custody even if the child isn’t living with them.
How Child Preference Can Impact Connecticut Custody Decisions
You may be familiar with child custody laws in other states. For example, some states, like Ohio, let older children have a say in which parent they live with. Children over the age of 12 can even go to court and file a request to adjust their living arrangements. Yep, the minor child can head to family court and pick which parent has both legal and physical custody.
Connecticut is a little different. The state doesn’t have a minimum age children can have a say in their custody arrangements. There’s a chance the family court judge may ask the child questions, but this isn’t the deciding factor. Connecticut General Statute §46b-56(c) requires family courts and judges to consider more than the parent’s and even the child’s wishes.
Which Parent Can Best Meet the Child’s Needs?
Some parents just get kids, and others find them a constant mystery. If you’re still trying to figure your child out, no worries, it’s not going to impact your ability to get custody. What the court will consider is your ability to meet your child’s needs. This typically covers things like a stable home environment. Your ability to feed and clothe your child is another factor, along with being able to meet their emotional needs.
If you’re previously an absent parent, even if it’s due to work commitments, the court may decide you’re not in the best position to have physical custody. Depending on your situation, you may get legal custody and visitation rights.
Will the Parent Encourage a Relationship with Their Former Spouse?
Connecticut prefers seeing both parents in a child’s life. This is usually beneficial for everyone, including the former spouses. However, if one spouse is constantly putting the other one down in front of the child, the court may find a problem.
Even though it’s tempting to dish on your former spouse, keep any negative comments away from your shared child’s ears. The court also tends to get a bit upset if one parent is interfering with the other’s ability to see their child. This alone can be enough to make the judge decide the child’s preferences are with your former spouse.
Do Both Parents Want Custody?
Sometimes, child preferences don’t really matter. This is especially true when only one parent is seeking custody. If the other parent is perfectly happy sending child support and engaging in an occasional weekend visit, the judge will pay attention. When this pops up, custody both legal and physical generally goes to the parent who wants it.
The Child’s Relationship with Each Parent
You’re constantly being told you shouldn’t have favorites in your family. Guess what, it’s tough. See, favoritism is alive and well in most families. However, it’s not supposed to extend to parents and children.
While most parents work diligently to never show favoritism to one child over another, kids are a little different. Don’t be surprised if your little one has a ready response for who their favorite parent is. Yep, this is something the court will probably consider. The judge always focuses on your child’s best interests and sometimes it may mean considering who’s their preferred parent.
What If a Child Refuses to See a Parent?
Children probably aren’t going to pay too much attention to a court order telling them they must spend time with a parent. On the other hand, some kids actually pay attention to their custody arrangements and don’t have a problem holding their parents’ to the agreement.
So, what happens if your child refuses to spend court-ordered time with the other parent? If you stop fighting against your child’s wishes, does it mean you’re risking potential jail time? Before you start worrying about penalties or tossing your child kicking and screaming in the vehicle, consider child preferences. This probably means getting in touch with a family law attorney. You’re probably going to need some legal guidance.
Connecticut does allow older children to have a safe in their preferences. This doesn’t mean the judge is going to go along, but it can help work out some of the kinks in your custody arrangement. Try working out an alternative arrangement with your former spouse and head back to family court. This way, you can stop worrying about penalties stemming from a child custody dispute.
Successfully Navigating Child Preferences in Connecticut
Something to always keep in mind is the court will always put your child’s best interests first. This may not always be what you want but it’s what’s best for your child. Before trying to navigate child custody laws, talk to a Connecticut family lawyer. They can help the process go a little more smoothly.
