To his father, sleeping next to other homeless people, “You are a good Papa.” This, young Christopher says to his dad in the popular Will Smith movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. And it’s only so easy to think Men only have it that hard in movies. Sadly, a different tale exists in the cold counties of North Carolina, where the best thing a dad could do for his child is to let go of custody. Why? For single dads, the available housing resources are only a thing to put a name to—and of no real help in solving their housing crisis. Take the pain of rapper Lil Prophet, who sleeps in a car for 2 years through the changing seasons in the same city with countless housing laws, policies, and help, but none ever existed for his single dad.
What Are Housing Resources?
For many reasons, one could become homeless. And the state of North Carolina, like many other states, has put into place its resources to assist those who are homeless or about to become homeless. To everyone homeless or about to be, the state encourages you to contact the NC United Way by calling 2-1-1 or visiting their website NC211.
From emergency housing, rental, and mortgage assistance to home-buying opportunities, North Carolina boasts of many programs tailored to victims of homelessness. It goes even deeper through the existence of coordinated entry in each county to bring this help closer to those who need it.
However, these many resources have failed beyond reasonable doubt the single dads. Only a query through your search engines would reveal the focus on single moms as though no one ever expects a single dad to retain custody of his children. Or to ever need aid, including housing.
Could this be gender discrimination? A neglect of the single dads out there? Or is this an issue that’s just never gotten global attention?
In a study from Mecklenburg County, a huge gap exists in resources for homeless fathers. Almost as if the world only recognizes homeless mothers. Time and time again, single dads must move from place to place, seeking if just one resource would create space for them to get a good night’s sleep. Another single dad from Wake County also had so much to say, having been through many resources, but none had been of help to him or his child.
In the same way, rapper Lil Prophet finds himself in a similar yet sad story. These had left him with scars and pains from an early age of struggle and have fueled much of his music. In his song, Singled Out, he cries out about how services to single parents without homes only cater to or prioritize single mothers while leaving single dads out. Women get vouchers easily, while the men have to wait another season.
While he can tell the story today, it is a sad memory, and even sadder as it seems the whole world appears to have turned their faces away from this fact. And this is his way of calling the whole world to realize that single dads need as much attention as we currently give to single moms. And the world still has a long way to go before true equity is attained.
To the many single dads going through the same, “ever being told that you can’t but really think you can?” Well, we think you can. Keep showing up every day, keeping the hope, and one day, you’ll find your way out, too.
Five Ways Society Benefits When Kids Spend More Time with Dad(Opens in a new browser tab)